By Fernie Ruano Jr.
Does getting really excited over a pregnant woman on television that looks absolutely stunning officially classify you as a felon, especially if you’re watching the 66th Emmys on your couch?
Well, lock my ass up and mail the key to Ms. Morales, because this dude could barely chew his oatmeal cookie when short, blonde, mom-to-be, and actress Hayden Panettiere showed up on the red carpet wearing a silver (very) deep V neck gown with sequins by Lorena Sarbu. Her risqué gown, with a V neck plunging inches south of her bustline and showing off her beautiful pop tarts, the 5’2” Panettiere, who picked up her hair in a vintage kind-of-way, could have stripped naked and dropped back shots of tequila all night on the Nokia Theatre red carpet– while everybody else went inside and pretended to like each other for three hours – because she absolutely owned it.
Panettiere, who opted for the gown because it was the only one which fit well enough to cover her junior Iggy Azalea, looked radiant while toting the line between sensual and glamorous, even with a visible baby bump. This is exactly how my “dream woman” would look, if I could poke her out of the Publixdeli line at 5 p.m. as I wait for my 16 pieces of fried chicken.
But since it’s not 5 p.m. and I’m not at Publixwaiting for my 16 pieces of fried chicken, let’s move the line so I can tell you about a few more women that lit up the full-of-red (and coral), red carpet at the Emmys, while I try to stop daydreaming about Hayden, because her fiancé has a mean right uppercut.
Lizzy Caplan: The sexually uninhibited master of sex on “Masters of Sex”, Caplan stole the show, only this time on the red carpet rocking a fitted and backless Donna Karen Atelier black silk dress with a long, white train. A few Cuban sandwiches and pastries short of making weight on my team (sorry), Caplan, nonetheless, wowed with criss-cross straps to boot. 
Laverne Cox: Nominated for her role in “Orange Is The New Black”, the white-clad Cox killed it on the red carpet – while dogging most of the competition – with a Marc Bouwer gown that was not only draped over her body, but featured a fierce train with diamond broaches. She looked so hot in a plunging neckline and loose curls; Sophia Vergara turned and said, “Oye, pero look arch at jot.” Or something like that.
Bust me up: Laverne Cox looked hot on the red carpet
Julia Louis Dreyfus: I was dozing off while in the early stages of a “Friends” reunion dream when Dreyfus popped up on my plasma in a phenomenal red gown, made even more PHENOMENAL by the sophisticated and skin-baring straps along her back. Other ladies that looked awesome enough in red to want to pull them out of my TV screen and sit them on my lap (all at the same time): Christina Hendricks and January Jones.
Heidi Klum: The 41-year-old model ( yes, 41 bitch ) forced me to adjust my Old Navy boxer shorts after I saw her in a coral Zac Posen gown that outlined every inch of her statuesque frame while the flutter dress gave the dress a sexy, if not romantic, vibe.
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