Wake up: Whole Food Market has finally arrived in downtown Miami

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

If you live or play in downtown Miami and have always fantasized about ogling really beautiful people in between taking spoonfuls of flan from Versailles to your mouth and snatching a gluten-free and plump rotisserie chicken from underneath the heat lamp, today is your lucky day.

That’s right, hot stuff. After over a decade of lease haggling and all that other political snobbiness, a 41,000-square foot Whole Food Market has finally opened its doors at 299 SE 3^rd Street, And your soon-to-be favorite market has such a 305 vibe you might think you’re in Havana drinking guarapo and chomping on a ham croqueta as you examine aisle No. 3 for organic black beans. Well, maybe not.

But the newest and best-smelling Whole Food Market in the 305 is so Miami you can load up on as many made-to-order churros and croquetas your little heart desires after placing your order for a freshly-squeezed carrot juice, or any juice, from Jugofresh. And if it happens to be 5 pm on a Thursday and you’re off from work the next day, you might consider stacking your cart with BEER from the Funky Budha.

And that’s just for starters, if getting a little buzz is your priority . But since you probably grew up in Miami and know a good thing when you see one, you’re going to have a hard time staying away from the Versailles café  station where you can pick up a creamy tres leches in a plastic container after downing a shot of expresso.


Want a real Cuban sandwich, not that wannabe they sell you in Tampa? Well, just ask the short, bubbly lady behind the counter and she will gladly make it for you. But ask nicely, please.

But this playground for adults of all shapes and sizes isn’t limited to traditional 305 chow and you will see for yourself when you tour the salad bar, where you will find over 15 soups, sandwiches, pizzas, wings and just about every item you would find at a diner, or in your fridge. And the store has a pizza oven, so you’re guaranteed some fresh slices, unlike that place where $5 isn’t really enough to get you an entire pie.

Are you so worried about a date tonight back at the pad you are thinking about just hanging out with the beer sampler until 11 pm or until  you fall flat on your face and he has to call the store manager to wipe your drunk ass off the floor?


No worries. There’s an entire section with loads of awesome cheese and wine and it’s right by the produce section, where you will find apples bigger than the surgical implants your doctor in Hialeah showed you this morning. That means you and your hot date can stay in dropping down spicy cubes of cheese and fruity wine while you try very hard not to slip your panties off your ankles as a shirtless Matthew McConaughey
smiles back at you on the plasma screen.

Seriously, the new Whole Food Market in downtown Miami is no joke. Now, all you have to do is put your wheels in motion, find a spot in the huge parking garage on the ground floor and load up on groceries as if shopping for hot peppers is truly a pleasure.


Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.