2015 Golden Globes: Some dude actually had the balls to point out, if not remind us, how perfect Jennifer Lopez’s breasts really are

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

Wouldn’t you laugh it off too if you were one of the sexiest women on the planet stunning on stage at the 2015 Golden Globes in a Zuhair Murad gown with a plunging neckline when a co-presenter decides it’s a good idea to go off-script to compliment, um, comment on your round and perky breasts?

That’s exactly what 45-year-old, Hollywood dynamo Jennifer Lopez did Sunday night after volunteering to open the winner’s envelope with “I have the nails.” when Jeremy Renner, on stage at the Beverly Hills Hotel with Lopez to present an award, quipped, “You have the globes, too.”

Renner’s assessment of J. Lo’s tanned cleavage drew the ire of social media cronies that went as far as calling Renner a “Best Supporting Creep” and “Boob-seeking robot”, among other things.

But can you blame the man, especially a newly-single one, for barely being able to take his eyes off of Lopez, who owned it in silver open-toed high heels and a pale couture dress which also featured a high thigh slit and small train. C’mon on: Was it really that hard to notice J. Lo? Dude is just getting a hard time for doing what most men in America would have done; And had the b ----- to tell everybody how hot Lopez looked from close quarters.


Amen!

And like the Big Mac commercial you can’t get away from but can’t get enough of, Lopez just laughed at Renner, all the while wearing the expression, and look, of a woman that belonged, just like she will in 2030 when she walks up to the stage in a revealing neckline upheld by no surgical enhancements (hopefully) to receive a lifetime achievement award on the heels of an acclaimed drama-thriller opposite Bradley Cooper as George Clooney’s 2-year-old daughter plays with her mother’s black leather gloves.

Already at mid-life and lacking a defining role that has withstood the passing of time, unless you count “Selena”, J. Lo might never reach the iconic on-the-screen status of some of Hollywood’s biggest actresses before her such as Sophia Loren, Meryl Streep and Katharine Hepburn, among countless others.


But her resume aside, Lopez just gives off the impression she will be around for a while. And continue to age well and stay classy right before our eyes…

Have Tina Fey and Amy Poehler already been booked to host the Oscars from now until one of them can’t physically make it up on stage anymore? You now, like until the end of time.


If not, what the hell is the academy waiting for? A tape of the ‘Globes’, where Fey and Poehler, hosting their third and final rendition of the drunken extravaganza/awards show, let it all hang out - Well, not really – by attacking The Interview with the gusto of a North Korean hacker, calling out Joaquin Phoenix for his um… distaste of awards shows and leaving Jessica Chastain wide-mouthed with a Bill Cosby joke.


Tina and Amy have proven they are great at keeping the stall and drawn-out awards show, which tends to send millions to bed before 11 pm, moving at a steady pace. And that’s  why they should be hosting the Oscars on a TV screen near you, soon…

After dedicating Sunday nights in the fall to “The Affair”, Showtime’s drama series centered on an unfaithful/stricken waitress and miserable novelist, and quickly being drawn in by sultry English actress Ruth Wilson, I stuck with the show through the completion of the first season in December, even though the writing and premise left a lot to be desired.


 And watching an ungrateful and rambling Wilson accept the award for “Best Actress in a TV Drama Series” it would have been justified to see somebody go up there and kick her off the stage before she had the chance to praise co-star Dominic West’s ass, of all things.

Oh, and somebody should kick Kevin Hart really hard for going low on Salma Hayek.

That shit wasn’t funny, dude….

Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.