By Fernie Ruano Jr.
Just SIX MONTHS – SIX MONTHS! – after doing us like Tony Parker did Eva Longoria it appears the best basketball player in the world can’t stay away from the 305. LeBron James (Remember him?) reportedly traveled to Miami earlier this month to take advantage of the warm weather as part of his rehab to heal back and knee strains.
That’s right. Would you believe Cleveland Cavaliers team doctors were smart enough to recommend that LeBron spend a few days in warm weather, instead of attending games to sit on the bench, especially in Cleveland where it’s 17 degrees right now and not only can your back flair up quickly if you’re sitting for a long period of time but you can fall into a deep depression after your first trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Diamond Grille?
But LeBron, who is expected to miss another week, apparently enjoys being miserable because he showed up in Cleveland earlier this week and vowed to board the plane with the rest of his teammates for the Cavaliers’ western road trip, which begins tonight in Golden State.
Seriously, dude? LeBron makes the Gatorade, trades players he doesn’t like, designs the team’s uniforms, signs paychecks, gets away with wearing awful outfits, is loyal to his wife and even plays once in a while, and decides to go on a road trip which begins in OAKLAND with a bunch of uninspired, rich basketball players instead of staying in Miami for a few more days to um … heal his body parts and fool around in the sun; another indication that just because you can dribble a basketball doesn’t mean you're capable of making really smart decisions..
1/9 FRIDAY: Have you ever fallen in love in a dimly-lit theatre to the point that the soothing and powerful sound of the trumpet filling the air have made you feel as if you’re already on an island enjoying your honeymoon with your potential-spouse? Well, you might walk out of the Adrienne Arsht Center for the Performing Arts (1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, FL, http://www.arshtcenter.org/, 305-949-6722) wanting to skip bedtime and go straight to the bridal shop after an intimate evening courtesy of Cuban jazz trumpeter Arturo Sandoval. Sandoval, a 10-time Grammy Award winner, has been composing music for over five decades and still creates a technically flawless and blistering sound. He is versatile too, transitioning smoothly from both classical and traditional jazz with little effort while always pleasing the crowd. His 2012 Dear Diz: Every day I think of You, a tribute to Dizzy Gillespie, is a beautiful nod to a mentor and friend and reaffirms Sandoval’s range and unorthodox style. And he’s bringing some friends with him tonight, including Willy Chirino and Amaury Gutierrez, so don’t leave abuelita home by herself..
1/10 SATURDAY: Unlike LeBron you still live in Miami and can brag all you want about being able to wear tees with no bra (if you’re a woman, of course) and flip flops in the middle of January, whether you’re dropping off the kid at soccer practice or hosing down your BMW at 3 pm on a Saturday because you know your recently-divorced and hot neighbor is home from work. You can also wear whatever the hell you feel like wearing to the Second Saturday Art Walk (North Miami Avenue & NW 23rdSt., Miami, FL) in Wynwood where you will delight in an array of colorful art galleries, eclectic souls and no frill attitudes in between grabbing some awesome chow from one of the surrounding eateries. So, get a pedicure and wear flip flops. Walk starts at 7 pm.
1/11 SUNDAY: As of right now the weather forecast calls for 81 and a 40 percent chance of rain in the evening. That means you have all day to bask and tan underneath the Miami sun in the red string bikini your boyfriend left in a gift bag on your doorstep at 10 pm Christmas Eve before deciding he wasn’t going to answer any more of your calls. Whatever… get over that loser. Pack your nylon Old Navy bag, gather up like $15 in coins and point your Beemer towards South Beach, where you can have a whole day to yourself while working up a really hot tan, get drunk on slushy drinks and meet Husband No. 3. Ok, maybe not.. South Pointe Park (1 Washington Avenue, 305-673-7006)
Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.
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