2014: Kim K’s oily …, too much Ariana Grande (gasp!), Bradley Cooper, Matthew McConaughey, Google glasses, way too much Ray Rice and Roger Goodell and fake boobs, especially if you live in Miami ….

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

Can you believe the year that blessed us, or sent us to the psych ward (depending on who you ask), with Kim Kardashian’s oily ass and its balancing act, Ray Rice’s knockout power, Janay Palmer before Janay Palmer, in the name of $$$$, became …. Janay Rice, Russell Wilson’s hair, LeBron James’ moving truck, George Clooney’s wedding (finally), Facebook’s 10^thanniversary, Catherine Jo Perry (NEWSALERT: Catherine is not Russian), Google glasses (for everyone), Apple’s iPhone 6, ScarJo’s mommy skills (sad), Pete Carroll’s enthusiasm, Lana Del Rey’s “Ultraviolence” , Iggy Azalea’s “The New Classic”, Katy Perry’s quirkiness, Donald Sterling’s old and racist ass, Michael Sam, the College Football’s Playoff System, Kate Upton (again), the NFL’s in-house mess and way too much of Roger Goodell, Derek Jeter’s retirement, way too much of Miley Cyrus, and for the love of God more Ariana Grande, is almost over?

Jay Leno was kindly stiff-armed; Jimmy Fallon was vociferously introduced as new host of “The Tonight Show”.  We had to deal with a slow-downed Internet because of outdated routers, but Amazon blessed us with a smartphone.  Sadly in 2014, we lost Robin Williams, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Joan Rivers, Shirley Temple, Mickey Rooney, and Barbara Walters to retirement.

If you live in Miami , and are a man in some cases,  you had to deal with senile drivers, clueless politicians, snobby bitches that can barely spell their names looking for $$$, half-empty condominiums around you no matter where you go, single and divorced mothers looking for $$$$, people that only dial you up when they need you, expensive new-palm trees, expensive tolls, way too many blonde women with bangs wearing aviator sunglasses, more fake boobs, fake eyelashes, snobby fashion bloggers, dogs, puppies, grown men walking puppies, chicks from high school that want to get ------, wannabe musicians, clueless publicists (with a few exceptions), ungrateful publicists and music managers, ungrateful music editors, ungrateful students, miserable bookstore associates, I-95 and women fondling their respective cellphones while attempting to drive on I-95.

But living in the most beautiful city ever aside, 2014, in totality, was a step in the right direction, especially if you had the opportunity to interview Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson and my favorite fashion blogger, Maria Tettamanti, among others, were welcomed with open arms by Miami Children’s Hospital, kicked ass at some “important” tennis tournament in Key Biscayne, made Serena Williams, Rafael Nadal, and Maria Sharapova laugh, rocked Coral Gables, again, received your first Google paycheck, even it was for $7.19, threw away approximately 13 phone numbers, laughed out loud every time you opened your high school yearbooks, attended concerts, tennis matches, football games, baseball games and basketball games; had lots of fun in the parking lot with a friend before FSU-Miami, too; read books, listened to music and wrote looking out at the ocean. And learned, more than ever, who to trust and who not too, while pointing my professional priorities in a new direction thanks in part to a 29-year-old woman I’ve been promising myself since 2009 to get away from, but have yet found the courage to do so because sometimes your heart weighs more than your mind.

Or you’re just consumed with the task of watching most of the 39 bowl games college football fans all over this great nation are going to be blessed with this holiday season, starting tomorrow with drumroll, please…..Nevada (7-5) vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (8-4) in the R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl. Free shipping boxes and masking tape for everybody! In fact, there’s so many bowl games tomorrow, including one sponsored by a “famous” potato company and another by a media company (seriously), we couldn’t possibly live past 2014 if Monday afternoon’s Miami Beach Bowl, pitting BYU (8-4) vs. Memphis (9-3), didn’t give us a reason to leave work early, even though the game is being played at Marlins Park in Little Havana. Besides, what a blow to Miami’s economy! BYU students!!! Seriously? But we don’t want to wake up your 72-year-old Cuban-Jew uncle who is probably sleeping right now in order to be well-rested for the Boca Raton Bowl featuring Marshall (12-1) vs. Northern Illinois (11-2), Tuesday night. But if you can’t possibly be sitting inside Florida Atlantic Stadium on December 23 at 6 p.m. and you’re a diehard University of Miami football fan you can make your way to Shreveport, Louisiana to check out the Hurricanes (6-6) try their luck against the South Carolina Gamecocks (6-6). That’s if you’re not making your way back from Nassau, Bahamas where Central Michigan (7-5) will play Western Kentucky (7-5) in the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl. I LOVE FRIED CHICKEN! I LOVE FRIED CHICKEN FROM THAT SUPERMARKET CHAIN WHERE SHOPPING IS A ……. Forget about it. Just sleep, open gifts, eat like a pig, have sex and eat some more until New Year’s Day at 5 p.m. when the games that really matter begin..

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Here now are my Top-10 blogs of 2014.

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/10/weekend-in-miami-mommy-my-teacher-says.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/10/un-batido-de-mamey-rich-and-sweet-piece.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/08/a-quickie-with-scarlett-johansson.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/10/olivia-munn-has-nothing-on-you-weekend.html?spref=bl

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/10/sofia-vergara-laughing-in-face-of_8.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/09/maria-tettamanti-305-fashion-maven-shoe_24.html?spref=bl

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/08/its-labor-day-weekend-my-top-5-must-dos.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/09/getting-to-know-her-my-favorite-spots.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/09/angie-chirino-scores-big-hit-running.html

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/09/quick-tasty-plentiful-my-top-5-cuban.html?spref=bl

http://latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com/2014/08/my-2014-emmys-experience-drooling-over_26.html

Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email