By Fernie Ruano Jr.
Today is the day.
You’ve finally cleared the hurdle, and deleted the phone number from your cellphone that’s been weighing you down since April and the sole reason why you’ve been walking through the front doors of the South Beach office which employs you looking like shit while all the girls lingering around the coffee machine in the break room murmur under their breath that your shirt is wrinkled each time they see you.
But you have already started to shake it off by attending a burger feast in Coral Gables on Thursday night because you my friend are in the mood to forget and eat as much as humanly possible, and will be doing so with your fingers crossed since you’re hoping to meet some hot chic – or dude – and put Patty, or Tito, on the backburner forever and ever.
But you have already started to shake it off by attending a burger feast in Coral Gables on Thursday night because you my friend are in the mood to forget and eat as much as humanly possible, and will be doing so with your fingers crossed since you’re hoping to meet some hot chic – or dude – and put Patty, or Tito, on the backburner forever and ever.
You’re also thisclose to the first Friday in November you can smell the vodka, sushi, basketball leather and lipstick on the collar of your plaid dress shirt, or dress, and you live in Miami so you can’t wait until approximately 6 p.m. tonight to do 85 down Miracle Mile on your way to the gym before going home to take a shower and iron your white thong and red zipper dress – or black dress shirt and washed jeans if you’re a dude - because it will officially be the WEEKEND in the BEST CITY IN THE WORLD!
And please drive, drink and have lots and lots of sex, responsibly, while you try to remember you’re in Coral Gables and will be spending a lot of time in the “City Beautiful” this weekend if you’re smart, have some $$$$ and are fortunate to have a hot woman – or man – by your side.
FRIDAY 11/7: Coral Gables is trying so hard to become one of the country’s premiere food meccas it’s bringing back “Giralda Under the Stars”, so you and your hottie can have dinner in the middle of the street surrounded by hundreds of other very good-looking people. And no need to start sweating right now if your partner turns into a royal pain in the ass when it’s time to chow because Bangkok Bangkok II, La Dorada, The Bar, Talvera, Local Craft Food & Drink and Threefold Café are just some of the restaurants which will be spreading cuisine all over Giralda Avenue as you make out with Sandra underneath the stars and wait for your Captain Morgan with a splash of Coca Cola. (100 Giralda Avenue, www.shopcoralgables.com , 305-569-0311)
If you’re dining in Coral Gables, chances are you’re somewhat of a tech nerd, therefore it might not be too difficult to convince your squeeze to take a ride to Tiger Direct Tech Bash at Marlins Park (1380 NW 6th St., 305-676-7378), where geeks of all shapes and sizes will collide to walk free of charge and check out some of the latest gadgets in the ever-changing world of technology because that IPhone 6 you purchased two weeks ago is super outdated.
SATURDAY 11/8: What can possibly get your partner’s blood flowing on a Saturday night more than welcoming back your favorite professional basketball team from a short road trip with your presence at the AmericanAirlines Arena (601 Biscayne Boulevard, 786-777-1000, www.aaarena.com)? Alright, it’s not LeBron or the Knicks, but you still get to see your favorite player ever, Dwyane Wade, drink $25 Cran-vodkas and ask Andrew Wiggins how cold it is in Minnesota - if you're sitting behind the Wolves' bench.
SUNDAY 11/9: What woman with a fully-functional heart doesn’t love kids? Whether they’re her own or her third husband’s kid, there’s a strong possibility your little Cuban hottie shines whenever there’s kids within a 2-mile radius of her. Therefore, you would be wise to steer in the direction of the Coral Gables Arts Cinema (260 Aragon Ave., 305-385-9689) for a 3D showing of Tim Burton’s Frankenweenie. It’s only $5 and if your woman is really petite and hot she just might get free popcorn and soda, like your 10-year-old nephew will because he’s 12 and under. Show starts at 11 a.m.
Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might eve
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