By Fernie Ruano Jr.
Week 10 of our favorite professional football league provided us with more ammunition that it’s quite alright to pack it in early on Sunday, Monday and Thursday nights or watch your favorite sitcom since 21 of 31 prime-time games this season have been decided by 14 points or more, including Philadelphia’s 45-21 thumping of Carolina on Monday and Green Bay's 55-14 wiping of Chicago on Sunday. And we’re past the midway point of the season so it should be clear to you by now that if it’s dark outside and there’s an NFL game on the schedule you should skip it and make love to your wife or something.
SKIP PRIME-TIME FOOTBALL, unless you’re in the mood to watch a player drop dead on the field, the 7-year-old sitting next to you on the couch is begging you or you’ve been sleeping on the couch since May and haven’t spoken to your wife since Easter. But you’re probably such a big leatherhead you took in the low-profile Dolphins-Lions before spending the rest of the afternoon pounding brews in your backyard and cursing Matthew Stafford because you grew up in Miami and the last time your favorite professional football team played in a playoff game, you were learning how to ride a bike.
But hang on tight and don’t give up even though if feels you’ve been going around in circles for what seems like a decade because there are approximately 20 teams with a realistic chance of making the playoffs – 10 in the AFC and 10 in the NFC. New England, Denver and Indianapolis are locks, while the NFC is crazier than Russell Wilson’s hair.
There’s seven weeks of regular-season football remaining and the Cleveland Browns have a CHANCE of winning the AFC North, the Arizona Cardinals can hear the burglars in their driveway, DeMarco Murray is tired and the Cowboys shouldn’t care, Andy Reid is carrying Alex Smith like a sack of toys over his shoulder, Marshawn Lynch is really mad and the Dolphins, Chargers, Bengals, Bills, 49ers, Saints and Falcons still have a shot of making the playoffs -at least, mathematically.
AFC -
NO WORRIES
New England (7-2), Denver (7-2), Indianapolis (6-3): Unless Tom Brady decides to move with Gisele to another country by the end of week, Peyton Manning trips in the kitchen over a box of his favorite pizza and Andrew Luck wakes up Sunday morning and his right arm is on the floor, all three teams will be in the playoffs. The Pats have a two-game lead in the AFC East; however a loss at Indy Sunday night would drop them out of the top spot in the AFC. A Denver win and New England loss would give the Broncos the top spot in the AFC and drop the Patriots below the Colts - for this week, anyway.
HELP PLEASE
Cleveland (6-3), Kansas City (6-3), Cincinnati (5-3-1), Pittsburgh (6-4), Baltimore (6-4): There’s a really good chance three of the five teams make the playoffs, including the winner of the AFC North and the second wild-card team behind the Chiefs. The Chiefs have two games remaining against the Raiders (0-9), but still have to face the Seahawks, Chargers, Broncos, Cardinals and Steelers. Can K.C. win at least two of the three to get to 10-6? Kansas City visits Pittsburgh in the final week of the regular season. Playoffs? Playoffs?
OPEN THE DOOR
San Diego (5-4), Buffalo (5-4), Miami (5-4), Houston (4-5): Thursday night’s Bill-Dolphins tilt in Miami is essentially a playoff game, with the loser likely done. Miami has received two vicious body blows in recent weeks, with the most recent coming at Detroit on Sunday. And now must forward without star left tackle Branden Albert, lost for the year to a knee injury. Miami still has dates against the Ravens, Patriots and Broncos. Buffalo also suffered a devastating loss against the Chiefs last week, but matches up well against Miami and a win will put them back in the playoff chase. If Houston makes the playoffs, it will be on the right arm of Ryan Mallett. Good luck!
NFC –
WE’RE JUST CHILLIN
Arizona (8-1), Detroit (7-2), Philadelphia (7-2), Dallas (6-3), Seattle (6-3), Green Bay (6-3): Most of the resumes look great, but are these teams all a good fit? Questions abound… Can you really see Drew Stanton – DREW STANTON – PLAYING in the SUPER BOWL? How come the Lions don’t score a lot, even with arguably the best receiver ever on their side? Mark Sanchez? Seriously!! Will DeMarco Murray still be alive by mid-December? Is Marshawn Lynch about to get really mad? Is the Packers’ defense good enough to stop anybody when it really counts?
THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME
San Francisco (5-4), New Orleans (4-5): New Orleans left the door open because they couldn’t stop the 49ers on a fourth-and-10 in OT. But does anybody really see the Falcons winning the NFC South? And San Francisco should still be taken very seriously, since the Cardinals still have two left against Seattle.
Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.
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