Chowing 305-style: If you’re in Miami and hanging with Charles Barkley…

By Fernie Ruano Jr.





Fresh off a 10-for-28 shooting spree from the floor in another Lakers loss Wednesday night, Kobe Bryant continues to take shots at a ridiculous pace and is determined to not only break the internet before Christmas, but make Kim Kardashian blush http://thegrio.com/2014/11/12/kim-kardashian-butt/. That’s if the Black Mamba doesn’t quit in the middle of the third quarter against the San Antonio Spurs, tomorrow night.



But besides tanking, which is defined as losing intentionally or not competing, the Lakers have already reached one of their goals for the 2014-15 NBA season: win a game. And that means TNT’s Inside the NBA co-host and ex-short shorts baller Charles Barkley, who drinks diet milkshakes and promised not to eat until the Lakers won a game, can chow down again.
 

And wouldn’t you know it. TNT is televising Clippers-Heat at the AmericanAirlines Arena, Thursday, November 20 and since Sir Charles is known to enjoy a hearty meal once in a while and doesn’t have to sleep on Dan Le Batard’s couch whenever he’s in the 305 because he’s $$$$, we had a few restaurant suggestions for the “Round Mound of Rebound”.



Now, all we need is for TNT to send Barkley to Miami as part of the crew broadcasting the game. And we can definitely use his $$$$$$ for more than just eating churros.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW5I-fFa4gY



PRIME 112: We know Charles LOVES this place…..well, because we’ve seen him here. And that in itself excuses him from being called a “big dummy” ever again. Can you blame him? It’s been almost 11 years since Mr. Chefetz opened the modern steakhouse which keeps ballers, celebs, politicians and hungry and horny females going back for awesome dry-aged beef, Lobster Mac and Cheese and Kobe – KOBE! – Beef Sliders!  And if you see a woman or man you really like, invite him/her to the bar for a few drinks. Just a few$$$$$.... (112 Ocean Drive, Miami Beach, FL 33139, 305-532-8112http://mylesrestaurantgroup.com/?page_id=51)



JOE’S STONE CRAB: This restaurant is really old and since we know Sir Charles has a soft spot for snowbirds, he should have no trouble fitting in – especially when he sees the menu, which he probably won’t need because he will likely fall in love with the stone crab claws and mustard sauce before they get to his table, if he doesn’t order the delicious fried chicken, instead. It’s loud and crowded, so chances are Charles might stick out in the buzzy crowd. But that’s no reason for him to bypass a huge piece of Key Lime pie, which he probably won’t. (11 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach, FL 33139, 305-673-0365, http://www.joesstonecrab.com/)



PUERTA SAGUAS: How can you possibly come to Miami and not stuff your face with authentic Cuban food? There’s nothing fancy about this no-frills, tight space in the middle of ritzy South Beach, but what Barkley will find are Cuban sandwiches so well-pressed the Swiss cheese drips over the fresh Cuban bread, perfectly-seasoned ropa vieja (shredded beef) and juicy lechon (pork) with black beans and white rice. And it’s so economical Sir Charles might even want to pick up the tab for everybody sitting along the tiny counter. ( 700 Collins Avenue, Miami Beach, FL 33139, 305-673-1115, http://www.zagat.com/r/puerto-sagua-restaurant-miami-beach)



Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.