“But honey, it’s Manning vs. Brady....”

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

If you’re flipping a football in the air and wearing your favorite NFL team’s boxer shorts dotted with chocolate ice cream and oatmeal raisin cookie crumbs when you make a turn for your bedroom at approximately 11:15 p.m. each night you’re probably a huge fan and therefore might have heard the Denver Broncos (6-1) are visiting the New England Patriots (6-2) on Sunday – that’s at 4:25 p.m. on CBS unless you’re fortunate to have a ticket and will be scarfing down a $9 “value” meal from the McDonald’s stands – in this week’s installment of “Biggest Game of the Year” until Seahawks vs. 49ers, November 27.

But it’s not just another early-November “big game” you’re begging your pregnant wife to watch while you’re doing the dishes and praying to yourself that you can quietly put the lawnmower back in the garage while she takes a shower, especially when it’s one of the last times you’re going to see Peyton Manning and Tom Brady on the same field leading their respective teams from under center.

PEYTON MANNING VS TOM BRADY; PEYTON MANNING VS TOM BRADY; PEYTON MANNING VS. TOM BRADY; Try telling your wife that three times, and really fast at 3:59 p.m. as she flips the car keys on the kitchen counter while putting her hand over her stomach and says, “Babe, I really need 12 glazed donuts and a bottle of mustard.”  

But for the love of your first child, DUDE! Show some balls; it’s BRADY VS. MANNING.


It’s the guy who was supposedly buried somewhere in Santa Clara, California last month and has a cool beard and would have five Super Bowls rings instead of three if Bob Kraft woke up one day in 2005 and decided he wanted to spend some serious $$$$ versus the guy who supposedly couldn’t lift his right arm above his head in summer of 2011, always has a dumb look on his face but makes cornerbacks not paid by the Broncos cry themselves to sleep on Saturday nights and loves “better ingredients” on his pizza.


And it’s a matchup of arguably the two greatest QB’s in NFL history and who both are still really, really good and will probably be long retired by the time you get to knot the laces of your son’s soccer cleats for the very first time.  It’s Ali vs. Frazier; Steelers vs. Cowboys; Magic vs. Bird; Celtics vs. Lakers; Yankees vs. Dodgers; Ohio State vs. Michigan; Gretzky and Messier vs. anybody; Kobe vs. THE WORLD.

It’s time you go get your wife’s donuts and bottle of mustard….

CHARGERS @ DOLPHINS (CBS, 1 p.m.):  A playoff game at Sun Life Stadium on the first Sunday of November? Yes.  The bipolarish-Dolphins (4-3), coming off their most complete effort of the season against the Bears, are in dire need of stringing together some wins – like three or four of them – if they have any aspirations of securing a playoff spot in the AFC, and saving Joe Philbin’s job.  It might be wise to let Ryan Tannehill go right after a depleted Chargers’ secondary from the start, but San Diego (5-3), off since losing to the Broncos last week, has superior talent on offense, especially at quarterback, wide receiver and tight end, and also looking to stay in Denver’s rearview mirror. Expect to see the Chargers playing in mid-January, not the Dolphins.

CARDINALS @ COWBOYS (FOX, 1 p.m.):  The Cowboys (6-2) are signing defensive players off the street and Tony Romo’s back really, really hurts, which means Dallas’ surprising start is about to come crashing down faster than Renee Zellweger’s cheekbones by way of having their defense exposed as a fraud because it was never any good to begin with and hasn’t really been torched for a long period of time during the team’s first eight games for everybody to see because the Cowboys’ offense has dominated time of possession behind MVP candidate DeMarco Murray. Arizona (6-1), in the West coast team coming south for an early-game spot, will provide the toughest challenge of the season so far for the ‘Boys offensive line.

BRONCOS @ PATRIOTS (CBS, 4:25 p.m.): Unless, your life is in danger or you’re in bed with Jennifer Lopez, Manning vs. Brady is must-see-TV. And putting aside the two biggest and cutest FACES of league for a sec, why wouldn’t you want to watch to see who the best team in the AFC – at least in November – is; what Gisele is eating in the luxury box; and maybe even if Peyton likes mushrooms on his pizza?

RAVENS @ STEELERS (NBC, Sunday, 8:25 p.m.): It’s a good thing it’s a school night and your kiddies will be in bed by kickoff because Baltimore (5-3) vs Pittsburgh (5-3) usually tends to get a bit ugly and bloody. Another early-November mud fest with playoff implications, the Steelers finally seemed to have found their offensive footing under Todd Haley largely in part to an improved offensive line which has consistently opened up the lanes for Ben Roethlisberger and some dude named “Bell”. This is a what’s-left-in-the-sack test for the Ravens, smarting from getting hosed on a pass interference that erased a game-winning TD against the Bengals, and deeply engrained in what appears to be a three-team race right until the end in the AFC North.

AUBURN @ OLE MISS (ESPN, Saturday, 7 p.m.): Who is the hell needs a college football playoff system when you have the equivalent of a loser goes home game right here. Think about this one as the winner will get to dream about playing Florida State or Alabama in the title game. At least for another week they will.

Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.