No Katy: NFL Preview

By Fernie Ruano Jr.


I need a shower.


I need a shower because your favorite pop star - and mine too especially when she wears plaid miniskirts and pigtails to college football games - Katy Perry fooled the shit out of me and approximately 2 million more people watching ESPN's 'College GameDay' last Saturday when she looked straight into the camera and said "I'm not the type of girl that would pay to play the Super Bowl, so the ball is in their field." when asked if there was any chance she would perform during halftime of the 'Big Game' in February.


But apparently Perry, looking delish in a fluffy pink sweater embroidered with black armbands and number to mimic a football jersey and sophomorically lounging corn dogs everywhere, was in on the joke with Rece Davis, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard and Lee Corso since word has now cone down that she is close to reaching a deal to.. you guessed it, perform in the 'Big Game'.


C'mon Katy! Show some guts and some of your business savvy, and don't let the NFL manipulate you into forking over $$$ to perform at a time when more than half the nation will be busy stuffing their faces with chicken wings, potato chips and hamburgers because it will be Patriots 17, Seahawks 3 at halftime.


Oh, that reminds me...


DALLAS @ SEATTLE (FOX, 4:25 P.M.) : There's still more than weeks until Halloween and the same blabber heads on the Four-Letter-Network who gave the Cowboys little chance at anything before the season started are now singing their praises, or shouting them if your name is Chris Berman and you wear really bright ties. The Cowboys appear to be set up along the offensive line which in turn has sparked a change of philosophy on offense behind DeMarco Murray and not Tony Romo. But the Cowboys haven't played the Seahawks yet. Until Sunday.


GREEN BAY @ MIAMI (FOX, 1 P.M.): Where's Olivia Munn? That's about the only question FOX producers will be asking themselves late in the third quarter with the Packers up 21 points and Aaron Rodgers sitting on the bench with a cap on his head. Rodgers, arguably the best player of this generation, has way too many offensive weapons for the Dolphins to match the Packers. Did Joe Philbin teach Rodgers everything? Hahahaha..


NY GIANTS @ PHILADELPHIA (NBC, 8:25 P.M., SUNDAY): Perhaps the Eagles aren't as good as their record indicates, especially when you dissect their defense at close quarters. The Giants, on the other hand, has debunked the theory they can't score with a solid running game and intermediate passing game. Don't sleep on Eli's Bunch in this spot.