By Fernie Ruano Jr.
If you speak English or Spanglish to the guy at the deli counter slicing your Boar’s Head turkey when you go to Publix, wear flip flops, a really tight T-shirt or a beautiful dress to a movie date at Dolphin Mall and can see “305” in humongous block letters or Hello Kitty every time you look down at your cellphone screen, then you’ve probably stood outside a cafeteria ventana at some point in your totally-Miami life and ordered a croqueta, the chunky and crusty piece of golden-brown heaven that warms your mouth with a salty and meaty.. Oh, so good feeling.
C’mon…Who doesn’t love the crunchy and gooey fusion firing up in your mouth when you bite into a croqueta, or two, or three, whether it’s from La Carreta, Sergio’s, Vicky Bakery, Versailles or your mother’s kitchen? And it doesn’t matter if you’re from Venezuela, Colombia or Sacramento, California and sleep in a Hugo Boss dress shirt or Target short shorts and tee with no bra because when you go out looking for the warmest of comfort foods to please your heart, appetite and wallet, you know exactly what’s going to get you every time: a croqueta.
So, if you’re 30 and love Miami more than the naked-Sofia Vergara poster– or Brad Pitt if you’re into that sort of thing - on your bedroom ceiling, you’ve probably had a croqueta from just about every cafeteria in the 305 and don’t really know which is the best croqueta you’ve ever had.
Well, fire up your taste buds and set aside your Tums, if required, because at Croquetapalooza, the croqueta-everywhere-you-look, food trucks extravaganza Sunday, Oct. 12 at Magic City Casino (450 NW 37thAve.) seasoned up by Burger Beast/Miami food blogger Sef Gonzalez, you will have the chance to eat as many croquetas as you want and vote for your favorite croqueta from a lineup of competitors that includes El Floridita, Gilbert’s Bakery, Latin American Bakery & Café and Islas Canarias – all battling for the ‘Best Croqueta’ in Miami crown.
It promises to be such a hot and crunchy battle that Latin House, Pincho Factory, MEAT Eatery & Taproom, Vicky Bakery, Sergio’s and Munchies Café have signed up for the croqueta madness…competition, while a flan throw down featuring Cuban Guys, El Brazo Fuerte and Rio Crystal, among others, promises to color your lips and expand your hips.
And if you really love croquetas and BELIEVE in your croqueta-eating ability – you know, like eating 12 of them in 2 minutes - you can sign up for the competition and wash all the croquetas down with un batido de mamey and more food from El Rey de las Fritas.
A $35 general admission ticket entitles you to all the food and drink from all the carbolicious places around you from 1-4 p.m., and a $75 VIP entrance includes craft beer, cocktails and more food from Taperia Raca, Sakaya Kitchen and El Mago de las Fritas. But you better leave your fake I.D. at home and make sure – really sure – you’re 21. No exceptions! (1-4 p.m., Croquetapalooza.com)
Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook) and visit http://www.latinbeatsvibe.blogspot.com . Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.
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