Happy Birthday, Salma!

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

Who really cares if Salma Hayek was close to her grandfather and is making a cartoon based on a Lebanese philosophy book to honor her heritage? Alright maybe, you do.

But I’m here today to pay homage to Mexico’s greatest import this side of mariachi, Corona beer and Alejandro Fernandez, because it’s her birthday today, and at 48 Salma Hayek looks, and for the love of God, should feel FINE today.

 

In fact: Salma Hayek should feel like jumping out of  a plane and running around her house naked, if she survives my first suggestion, because in all honesty, I would ask her to marry me, if I had $200 million in the bank, owned 14 wine cellars in Napa Valley, 16 Audis and she wasn’t married.

But let me get my head off the pillow and tell you why Salma Hayek should be celebrating today, no matter what she’s doing.

 

You see, Salma Hayek started her career in Mexico working on telenovelas and small films before packing up her stuff and moving to Hollywood in 1991, and therefore being able to bless all of us with all her body parts and fabulous acting skills in Desperado (1995), Dogma (1999) and Wild Wild West (1999). Salma also acted as if she wasn’t a sex symbol in Frida (2002).

Her career has cooled off a bit in recent years, namely since deciding that getting approximately 500 feet from the Grown Ups movie set was a really good idea. But nonetheless, Salma Hayek should be wearing a party hat today, and wearing it proud; and as proud as I am of Salma Hayek.

Happy Birthday, Salma.