Getting to know her: My favorite spots for a casual date in SoFlo

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

Admit it; you’ve done your homework.

You know she pulls into the Starbucks on Miracle Mile at 7:30 a.m. every day and orders a tall latte, since you’re standing right behind her pretending to be playing with your stupid cellphone and not ogling her long strands of streaky-blonde hair.

You know she goes to lunch at 1:30 p.m., since you desperately start rattling your top drawer for loose change right around 1:27 p.m. before turning to the co-worker next to you and telling him you’re going for a snack out of the vending machine.

You know she’s on her way to the elevator and headed down to the lobby at 6:02 p.m., since you too get off from work at 6 p.m. and speed walk through The Building on Ponce Circle because you’re dying to be with her in the elevator, simultaneously, or at least catch a glimpse of the back of her head and faded view of her fitted-white blouse, charcoal mini shirt and black heels.

And finally after three months of strenuous and detailed hard work, not stalking, the woman who has you up watching Drive-ins, Diners and Dives at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday and stuttering your order of Swiss cheese at Publix every Friday has responded to your half-ass, sweat-induced invitation via Facebook with, “Sure, I would love it!”

You have a date, dude! And you live in SoFlo! And if you didn’t ask her out on Facebook and are not sitting in jail for stalking the beautiful blonde girl you’re crazy about, what can be better than a casual first date in South Florida?

So, if you’re like me and love to mix it up – you know, do something other than the tired dinner and movie thing – while getting to know her...  No worries! I have you covered.

 And please do feed her, because if you get past the first date you’re probably going to have her eating out of the palm of your hands, even if she’s ordering more than just a bottle of water and bowl of lettuce.

And if she’s normal you might end up ....

 

 

South Pointe Park: You’ve nailed dinner and have mutually agreed a little coffee would be nice. Well, then… This 17-acre urban park, beach and true hideout is ideal for a long, casual walk along the cement path along the ocean while you ask what part of Colombia her parents grew up in, why she only wears one earring, what kind of music she enjoys and what she likes most of being a graphic designer? And it won’t feel secluded and creepy no matter what time it is, unless you start asking some really stupid questions. Please don’t! She actually might want to come back over the weekend to get a slushy drink and enjoy the beach, which means you might get to see her in a bikini! (1 Washington Avenue, Miami Beach, FL 33139)

Schnebly Redland’s Winery: What women doesn’t enjoy lots and lots of wine, if she’s not 17 and you’re not really, really sick? Let’s hope not … because this buzzy winery plantation in the Redlands is quite the spot, especially on Saturday night when you’re likely to be dancing a little merengue, with a glass of white wine in your hand. And if wine isn’t her thing, you can buy her beer until her little heart is totally content. Or totally wasted. It’s not Napa Valley, but the waterfalls are charming and picturesque. So, take plenty of pictures before you make plans to sleep in your car or reserve a hotel because you will be doing a lot of drinking.  (30205 SW 217^thAve., Homestead, FL., 305-242-1662. www.schneblywinery.com)

 

Miracle Mile: Just think: You’re right down the street from your workplace and this main east-west road in the city of Coral Gables has it all. From the old-style architectural buildings to the art galleries to the restaurants and shops, this long section of Coral Way – between LeJeune Road and Douglas Road - is quite the spot for a brisk, but lively chat that will have the both of you smiling and perhaps getting a bit touchy as you weave on and off the sidewalk, while dodging strollers, single moms and coeds. It might be an expensive walk, but one worth taking. (220 Miracle Mile, Coral Gables, FL 33134, 305-569-0311, www.shopcoralgables.com)

Viernes Culturales: It’s the last Friday of the month and your girl – like mine - is really into her culture, because let’s face it: she’s Cuban and eats lots and lots of white rice and black beans. If so, this is definitely a cool arts and music festival to smoother yourselves in, while you test how good of a salsa dancer she is, how many ham croquetas she can eat without going all over her white T-shirt and jeans and how long she can put up with hundreds of loud and crazy Cubans. If she makes it to 10 p.m. without asking you to take her home, you can start thinking about inviting her over for Christmas. Warning: It’s not what it used to be in past years, but Viernes Culturales will make her feel proud of her heritage, no matter where she’s from. (1637 SW 8^thSt., Miami, FL 33135, 305-643-55oo, www.viernesculturales.com)

 

Jaxson’s Ice Cream: Want to find out right away if she’s into sharing and has no attitude? Want to find out if she likes eating really awesome ice cream from a South Florida landmark? Well if so, there’s no better place in South Florida to share a laugh and a smile – amid some neon lights and happy kids – than at Jaxson’s. Come on! What really cool woman doesn’t love ice cream? She has to be insane to turn down your suggestion to share a “Kitchen Sink” while she tells you about how she was a snob in high school because she hung around guys on the football team. Whatever! Just feed her a lot of ice cream and move a little closer. (128 S. Federal Hwy., Dania Beach, FL 33004 954-923-4445, jaxsonsicecream.com)

 

Do you want to know more about this 305-reeking, beach-bumming, Cuban food-obsessed dude? Well, then.. You can connect with Fernie @wordbyfernie (Twitter) and Fernie Ruano (Facebook). Who knows? If he really likes you, he might even give you his email.