Week 2: Please tell your wife you love her ….

By Fernie Ruano Jr.

Have you dedicated the last 48 hours of your life trying to convince the wifey - you know: the special lady in your life that sets the rules in every square inch of your house – that staying home tomorrow night with 50 of your closest buddies to watch Floyd Mayweather Jr. fight a guy he’s already defeated and has been praising for months since he knows the guy has no shot of beating him, can possibly be better than sitting in the dark with your shoes glued to the ground and Skittles between your legs?

Save yourself the trouble, dude. And the $74.95.

 

                          Just say NO: Please don't buy what Floyd Mayweather Jr. is selling.

If you truly love the woman that’s going to wake up next to you in the morning, or your wife, you’ll get up really early, go get a box of pastelitos from your favorite bakery and park it on top of the stove, cut the weeds, feed the dog, pick up your shirts at the dry cleaner, make breakfast for little Alex and drop off Sophie at soccer practice.

Basically, do whatever Mimi says; take care of the groceries, gas up the car, hose down the doghouse and take the boxers you washed last week, out of the dryer. And take your woman to the movies at 11:30 a.m. But please, PLEASE, don’t let Floyd Mayweather Jr. sell you on believing Marcos Maidana actually has a chance of winning anything Saturday night in Las Vegas, if he’s not anywhere near a poker table.

Mayweather Jr. is a huge favorite; once again, so it’s in his best interest to convince you and me, both, the smart, tough and heavy-handed Maidana can pull off the upset.  Don’t buy what Floyd is selling and just wait until next week when you can watch it for free, no matter what kind of garbage Floyd Mayweather Jr. is selling to your face.

But do plant what your mama gave you in front of the plasma by 3:30 p.m. because football on Saturday and Sunday really matters, no matter what she says. I mean how many more chances are we going to get to see Steve Spurrier throw his visor and Wendi Nix wearing a laced-dress? Just make sure you tell your wife you love her, Sunday too.

#6 Georgia @ #24 South Carolina (3:30 p.m., CBS): Can you think of anything better on a Saturday afternoon than having your heart blessed 138 times by Verne Lundquist at the same time you get to watch a mid-September playoff game in William Brice which features a bevy of Sunday-seasoned running backs that might actually make you remember what a 21-17 game is like? Mike Davis meets Todd Gurley and Friends. Note: Georgia hasn’t scored more than 24 points in South Carolina since 1994.

#12 UCLA vs. Texas (8 p.m., FOX): Let’s grease Jerry Jones’ pockets with another college football game at AT&T Stadium, why not? Well, it’s on the schedule and that’s very unfortunate if you’re Texas QB Tyrone Swoopes, who has played the role of a terrified child in a horror film since stepping in for David Ash. And that can’t be to comforting for ol’ Charlie going up against the Bruins. Thankfully, for the Longhorns, who have shown a tendency to knock the opposing QB on his ass this season, UCLA quarterback Brett Hundley has been sacked eight times in two games.

Miami @ Buffalo (1 p.m., CBS): Dolphins’ fans have started a petition to have RB Knowshon Moreno, who led the NFL in Week 1 with 134 rushing yards, the most for a Dolphins’ RB since Lamar Smith in 200o, replace Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Gimenez. Alright, not really. And they might want to hold off until next week, perhaps, since Miami is going up against a stout Bills’ defensive front featuring Kyle Williams and Mario Williams. Miami QB Ryan Tannehill, who has thrown for two or more touchdown passes in six of his last nine starts against an AFC East opponent, was well-protected last week.

NY Jets @ Green Bay (4:25 p.m., CBS): Is this the week we see Rex Ryan do a little waltz? Don’t bet against it, especially if the Jets go can into Lambeau Field and get one. But for the Jets, who defeated the Packers 38-10 at Lambeau Field in 2006, the last time both teams met in Green Bay, to have any shot RB Chris Johnson will have to produce more than 91 yards from scrimmage and a few biggies from QB Geno Smith, who is 4-1 in his last five starts with eight touchdowns. However, the Packers high-powered offense was stymied in Week 1 at Seattle and should find plenty of holes in a Jets’ defense that went untested against the Raiders.