By Fernie Ruano Jr.
We're you blessed with a Cuban mother that would drive around with two kids in her backseat on a Saturday afternoon pretending stop lights didn’t exist, because... the football and baseball games at Westwood Park started at 1 p.m., she had to find a parking spot when she arrived at the park, double-check equipment bags, knot spikes, tuck jerseys, straighten out pom-poms and read from her own rule book?
If your answer is yes, then you too were blessed with a Cuban mother that treated her kitchen as if it was on fire, especially on weekends when you had a better chance of having a chancleta thrown in your vicinity because your Cuban mother never missed anything you did at the park, than see her turn on the stove because dealing with two kids on a 96-degree day in Miami was enough heat to withstand for one day, even if those two kids in the backseat were so hungry they could eat Ronald McDonald.
Thankfully we had fritas, pronounced free-tahs and widely-known in the 305 as the Cuban Hamburger, a spicy-tinged mix of ground beef (as Cuban routinely do in the kitchen we break the rules and sometimes add chorizo or pork), some mean seasoning, potato sticks, diced raw onions and ketchup and/or tabasco sauce on a Cuban roll.
And the fritas, cooked on a flat top, not an open grill, could be found all over Miami, whether my Cuban mother was reaching over her driver’s seat to pull my sister’s hair while driving in Hialeah, pulling the car over on the side of the road to pull my ear in Kendall and or screaming at the car in front of her, while throwing a football at us while trying to keep her eye on the road and one hand on the steering in South Miami.
But thank heaven for the fritas, which were a staple in Cuba in the 1930s for street venders that made a living selling them to customers, and are still going strong as one of the tastiest gastronomic symbols in the 305, where you can find a juicy frita practically anywhere.
Don't believe me? Here you go, my treat...
Fritas Domino: Gotta give props to Miami’s original frita shop, which introduced the 305 to Fritas in 1962. Originally located on Calle Ocho, the fritas here are a bit zesty and loaded with potato sticks, which show up continuously no matter how many bites of your Cuban hamburger you’ve managed to take. You can’t go wrong with an extra dab of cachu. (936 SW 67TH Ave., 305-266-8477)
Sergio’s: There are so many locations, I don’t remember them all. But here’s one thing, I always remember about Sergio’s: their spiced-up Cuban frita sliders;delightful and tasty mini-bites that go well with a touch of ketchup y una Corona bien fria. And Sergio’s also has the original frita, which is a bigger, delightful and tastier version of their made-in-heaven Cuban hamburger. (3252 SW 22NDSt., Miami, FL., 305-529-0047)
El Rey de las Fritas: It’s practically impossible to miss the smiley dude with the crown on his head because ‘El Rey’ esta por toda partes. Pero, what makes ‘El Rey’ stand out is that you have a bunch of them to choose from when you open up their menu, including a really sweet one that comes stacked with platanitos fritos, or fried plantains for my non-Cuban speaking amigos. And if you’re really risky and can afford a trip to Mercy Hospital on a glorious Saturday afternoon you can have one with mounds of fried potato batons, sweet onions and a fried egg. Buena suerte, asere. (1821 SW 8th St., Miami, FL 33135, 305-644-6054)
Cuban Guys: Oye, these guys have stretched their pots and pans from Hialeah, the restaurant’s original location, to all over the city. Yes, you can indulge in their Cuban sandwiches, pan con bistec and media noche, for sure. But the Fritas will always hit the spot and put a smile on your girlfriend’s face the size of her … fresh beef and potato stick-loaded FRITA. You have to be really sick, not to be able to eat two of them. And the potato sticks are made daily, which might be reason enough to have three fritas. (10801 Sunset Drive, Miami, FL 33157, 786-464-0744)
If you think turning out the lights with your Cuban girlfriend in the room is special...
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