By Fernie Ruano Jr.
You’ve worked 60 hours in four days at the Midtown ad agency and have taken enough shit from your boss to build Roger Goodell another mansion, have dropped 15 pounds because you’ve been sitting in 8 a.m. traffic all week without air conditioner in your rental, and are tired of having to fire up dinner, since your significant other can’t crack an egg without bleeding.
Frankly, you need a FREAKING break! Well, no worries boys and girls because you live in Miami and therefore the only thing you’re going to be hoping for by the end of the weekend is a few hours of sleep because there is always something to do in the 305.
DALE CHICO!! QUE ESPERAS??
FRIDAY 9/19: That’s today! It’s 5:30 p.m., you’ve had a few cocktails and are singing “tu eres mi hermano del alma, realmente un amigo” each time your waitress comes around with a double. Listen, amigo. Pick yourself up, and your tie, and get over to the AmericanAirlines Arena, where Brazilian crooner/smooth operator Roberto Carlos will be waiting with so much love and timeless classics, you’re going to want to put your head on the beautiful person sitting next to you. At 73, Carlos, who has written more than 500 songs and sold more than 120 million records, is still an inspiration for lovebirds all over the world thanks to his diverse and soothing music. (AmericanAirlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 1-800-745-3000, ticketmaster.com)
Still have some leftover and want to pop some bottles with French music producer/DJ David Guetta spinning some of his awesome trance while you drool all over the Cuban model you met 15 minutes ago? Then, your house is LIV (4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach), starting at 11 p.m. when all the hipsters, wannabe hipsters, groupies and wannabe DJs show up. You might even get to meet Lindsey Lohan, if you’re lucky. (Tickets at livnightclub.com)
SATURDAY 9/20: A que? A un juego de beisbol? Pero tu estas loco? We feel you. Your favorite player’s face isn’t looking so hot these days; the forever-optimistic Marlins are out of the playoff chase and your sexy baseball T-shirt is buried in the hamper. Well, go buy another one y dale para Marlins Park (501 Marlins Way, Miami;Tickets available at Miami.marlins.mlb.com), with your pots and pans because the Marlins are going to let you through the turnstile with your favorite hand-held instrument to celebrate Hispanic Heritage Night por todo lo alto. Who knows? You might even catch a foul ball or bump into a high school frame, while you put a little mustard on your hot dog and he checks you out wearing a….
SUNDAY 9/21: Have mercy, please! It’s the third week of the season and the Dolphins, your favorite-bipolar NFL team, need plenty of support. So, grab your foam finger, pack the grill y los dominos and your white short shorts – camouflage for him – and go root for the Fishy Bunch at Sun Life Stadium (347 Don Shula Dr., Miami Gardens, 305-943-8000) in home game No. 2 of the young, but trending downward season. The last time the Dolphins made the playoffs my nephew was still playing with ducks in the bathtub. He’s now 10. But stay positive. It’s the lowly and hobbled Chiefs the Dolphins are going to be playing, which means you’re probably going to be dreaming about the playoffs, again, Sunday evening. (Tickets at ticketmaster.com)
So, you’re not into drinking $12 beer, Denny’s breakfast, well since there’s no other DAM place to eat across the street from the stadium, and sweating men in tight pants?
You can soak in some knowledge and history by taking in Miami Dade College’s “Tower: History+Art” at the Freedom Tower (600 Biscayne Blvd.), the tall yellow building smack in the middle of Downtown Miami and just oozing with rich history that will forever mark the city’s cultural standing. The tour covers from the building’s time as Miami News Tower to its role as gateway for countless Cuban immigrants to its current state as home to MDC’s Museum of Art+Design.
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