By Fernie Ruano Jr
If you live in Miami, you can eat a pastelito – or 17 – at any time of the day, whether it’s 6:15 a.m. and you’re doing 100 on I-95 in your pick-up truck because Juanita wants her lawn done before the driver from Leon Medical Center shows up, Sunday morning and you want to surprise your very healthy wife with a box of -guava and cheese heaven and try to erase what happened at 3 a.m. last night, or it’s 4:30 a.m. and you’re driving home after buying 5 bottles at LIV and striking out - again.
Oye, pastelitos, the Cuban pastries also known in Spanish and especially in the 305 as pasteles, are the crunchy and puff baked treats filled with sweet and savory fillings such as guava, cheese, coco, meat and guava and cheese, which are typically paired with a foamy café con leche, shot of expresso and/or huevos fritos, jamon and tostadas, if you’re really hungry and don’t mind spending the weekend at Mercy Hospital after you started shaking and sweating in front of a bunch of viejitos inside Versailles’ bakery.
Adelante... Pero con mucho cuidadito!
Versailles Bakery: Want a warm and melty guava pastelito dripping with so much guava you’re going to need to ask the server behind the counter for extra napkins, a bottle of water, and another café con leche? And perhaps you don’t mind a lot of chatter bouncing off the walls as you enjoy your meat pastelitos, especially at 8 a.m. on a Saturday when curious tourists and old-time locals collide at this lively and iconic spot. (3501 SW 8thSt, 305-441-2500, http://www.versailles-bakery.com/)
Vicky’s Bakery: The new-Coral Gables location, decked out with black and white vintage pictures of the 305 and a street homage to the “City Beautiful”, takes the bakery chain up several notches, thanks to a café, which features specialty items and will serve beer and wine in the near future. But forget the sandwiches, salads and tapas in this joint, because it’s still all about the pastelitos. Seriously: Is there really a bad pastelito here? You can literally lick the creamy cheese and sugary guava off your Polo shirt because the pastelitos come with so much guava and cheese you’re going to make a mess; a sweet mess. (243 University Drive, Coral Gables, 786-334-6622, vickybakery.com)
La Rosa Bakery: Esta gente son los padrinos… These hard-working, dough experts have been baking your pastelitos de queso since 1968, so think of them as the Gotti Family; only they’re going to kill you softly with fresh guava and chewy cheese inside a long, caramelized piece of dough that’s going to make you feel as if you’re going to pass out – after you order 12 pastelitos to go. Their bocaditos (mini-sandwiches) are as hot and tasty as your bootylicious and “blonde” Cuban girlfriend.. (4259 West Flagler Street, 305-443-2113, http://www.larosabakery.com )
Karla Bakery: Come on.. What Cuban kid doesn’t get croquetas, pastelitos, bocaditos and cake for their birthday, up until they're like 15? And what Cuban kid hasn’t walked into a bakery in Miami with their mom and immediately thought, “Why is everybody in here being so loud?” Well, being Cuban and from Miami I dig chaos, like when you’re here and the guy next to you has his arm stretched out over your shoulder and screaming, “Yo llege primero… carajo!” But it doesn’t matter who arrived at the counter first, because you’re going to wait no matter what, especially after you see the sugar and caramel sweating off the pastelitos de queso. Trust me! (6474 West Flagler, www.karlabakery.com)
El Brazo Fuerte Bakery: A personal favorite for its hidden location and buzzy ambience, the flaky and sweet pastelitos are so soft you can fold them in half and eat them that way. Go, try it. And they are really creative in this tiny shop not too far from Coral Gables because they have ham, coconut and tuna pastelitos, too. I would drop off your Cuban girlfriend at her pedicure appointment right now and go have a café con leche, while you sit by the tiny window. Oh, and the view is just wonderful. (1697 SW 32ndAve., 305-444-7720)
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